The past week has been stressful on many levels. I have a day off tomorrow, the first since last Thursday. I’m so ready for it. It’s happening in ten minutes (it will already be by the time this is posted, I’m sure). I could not be more excited, so I’m making it my damn day. National Oh, Rebecca Day, even.


I mean, if you want to. It’s not hard. Here are some acceptable celebratory activities for you to consider! They’re all pretty easy to do. Especially if you have the day off, LIKE ME!

– eat cookies, cake, candy, and ice cream. If you eat them ALL in one day, then by god, you’re a champion! (cupcakes accepted in lieu of actual cake) (since they are cake, just miniatures)
– scamper around the house in your skivvies for the better portion of the day. Bonus points for whining if you *have* to put pants on at any point, like for leaving the house to get more cookies, cake, candy, or ice cream (or all four)! Bonus bonus points if you consider NOT putting pants on when you have to leave the house! No bonus points for actually not putting pants on to leave the house. Potentially a public nudity citation or ticket, though, for which I’m not responsible, fyi.
– cry at makeover shows and/or puppy food commercials and/or ads about nurses, hospitals, or babies
– karaoke all day everywhere, no-holds-barred!
– draw and doodle on post-its and scraps of paper. Bonus points for doodles of monsters and ponies, or famous people rendered unrecognizable by your unsteady hand!
– drink some fruity beer! Anything from a nice cherry wheat to a bitchin’ lambic. You know you want to, don’t even front like you’re too manly for that.
– make a weird face and take a picture of it! Or, a SERIES of weird face pictures! Or have a weird-face-contest with your significant other.
– play a stupid game on your iPhone. This is great to do while you have something tedious and otherwise boring going on, like a stupid work meeting or waiting in line at the… anywhere. It’s not as great to do when you have something important to do, like finish up something for work, or perform surgery on someone, but I know you’ll do it anyway.
– recite one of your favorite crude hip-hop songs word for word to your loved ones, and see if they still love you after they realize you know all the words to songs like Pussy Control or Gimme That Nut.
– spend $5 on a giant, frosty caramel-coffee-flavored blendy beverage from that mermaid lady and don’t regret it at all, calorically or fiscally.
– spend your money at Lush. Or Or, or Or, if you’ve already spent what amounts to your life savings at Lush at various points in the past year and still have a rather large stash of products, use ’em! Need suggestions? I’ve got ’em. Oh boy, have I got ’em.
– leave your significant other or any loved one a sweet and cute little note somewhere unexpected. Bonus points for doodles! Extra bonus points for creative cut-outs, pop-ups, or origami notes.
– EAT SOME MORE COOKIES! (and/or cake, ice cream, candy)
– get the same thing you always get at the same restaurant you always go to, because you are a) not good at trying new things and b) you happen to really like that dish, thank you very much!
– write an inane blog post.
– halfheartedly do a few situps or crunches or other exercises, or go for a very slow run.
– look at pictures of your friends’ babies or random cute babies and squee a little or a lot, depending on how fast your biological clock is a’tickin’.
– look through because it’s awesome. If you care at all about awesome stuff.
– make up a weird laugh, or use one already in your weird-laugh repertoire (don’t act like you don’t have one). Do it at least once in public.
– look at the cute pets on in your area and think up great new names for them for if you adopted them. Or you could just, you know, adopt them.
– read! On your reading device, or, you know, in a real live book.

Basically, do whatever your big or little heart contents. It’s your day off! And even if it’s not, it’s your honorary day off! I bequeath it to you!

Here’s your prize (for now), some pictures of me making weird faces.